Letter letter + surat surat!

10/24/2008 10:34:47 PM

Letter letter + surat surat!

Soklan umum: Kinape tajok campor campor?

Jawapannye: Entah oh, memang tetolis begitu..

Ku tengah stadi matematik tadee..dari chapter 3, polynomial and skang kat chapter 4, sequence and series..ceritanya, time tengah tengah stadi tadee, ku tarek booku nota matematik-ku, konon nak wujok nota lelame yang ku salen time kuliah, mase zaman ku we-wajen dolu..lalu, sidang membelek-belek, ku tejumpa karangan bebentok letter bertarikh: 1st Ogos 2oO8, o8Oo hours yang betajok: my FFL world~

Karangan tuh ku tolis time jiwa kacau dolu..da lame da..seingat-ku, ku tolis kawangan tuh time klas tuto math, x salah mase awi jumaat pagee..ku dudok kat row blakang skali dalam klas..sah sah, tak amek pehatian langsong, sebok menolis kawangan tuh..

Tetibe saja, ku tewingen tok men-journal-kan-nya plak..

Buterannye seperti bewikot:

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Letter to me in the future:

I’ve never been okay since trillion years ago. And I will never be anyway. It’s getting sucks here. I’m suffocated, gasping for air. There is this little tiny mess that I’m going through right now. And I’m trying to fix it back. I know I can fix it. I just need some time alone, all by myself, and trying to unfold the unsaid words behind the story. Anyway, just to highlight, it feel sucks being me, right now, at this very moment.

My FFL world is hanging upside-down. I’m not complaining or what, I’m just trying to figure this out, being me, it’s so damn tough! Family always comes first. In my world, they are the second. Yup, it’s weird huh? Actually, I’m scared to put any trust in anybody, coz, at the end, I’m the one who will be in tears. What a horrible creature I am, isn’t it? Well, you have to face it, coz, that’s me.

And friend, which I’m sure, a very basic component that you need or specifically, you have to have at least ‘one’, in order to complete the survival kit to enter this new millennium world. Where the fuck is is this law comes from anyway? It’s nice when you’ve find someone to talk to, to share a piece of your world with, but hey, this ancient algebraic formula doesn’t work to me. Getting involved in so called ‘friendship fight’ is fucking damn tired! And it hurts, badly. Right now, my heart is just like being ripped out of its place. Blood is everywhere. How I wish, I can runaway, forget about everything and live alone, just me, in that place, only and only and only me. That’s what I get when I gamble in, so much trust and heart of mine into the game. Again, at the end, I’m the one, the only one, lying here.

Love on the other hand, for the past few years were never been lucky, except, this thing I’m going through right now. He made me feel that I’m needed, and that’s what I’m dying to feel for so damn very long. But, I’m not ready to open up just yet. Coz, I’m seriously, have been living in my own weird world alone. I’m used to that type of living. Hence, there’s certain thing, I can’t tell him, it’s not that I don’t want, it just that, I don’t think that I have to do so. In biology analogy, my world is like a plant cell, surrounded by a cell wall and plasma membrane which consist of phospholipids bilayer. Every substances or large molecules that wanted to get into my world, must first, get permission from the carrier protein, before they can successfully entering the cell. Obviously, a hydrophilic substance, will find it’s hard to pass through. The story, same goes to me, I am very rigid in letting someone in. it’s getting serious when it involved the ‘heart’ thing. I can’t give it all. At least, I have to keep a piece of my heart with me, so that I can use it up later to repair my broken heart when things don’t work as I hope it will be. I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, but, it just one of the law of mine.

I’m finish writing about my FFL world. Even it is in the negative side of view, but, I hope it’s worth, coz, I’m writing this down, for me, thatreservedgirl in the future, so that, she’ll know, what I’m feeling right now, and I wanted to let her know that, it just sucks right now! And the story is fold.

“Family.Friends.Love”-Just sucks when it links to me~

p/s: it’s better if I hold on to these words: ‘don’t get to know me, coz, I’ll hurt you in some way.’

Letter from me in the past.

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Begitula ia be-mule dan akhernye..

Sambongan-nya pula:

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Surat tok diri-ku pada masa lampau:

My life is getting better weyh!

Ku kini dah okay ngan family-ku oh..kawan? da ilang tapee ade yang maseh stay dengan-ku cam PAPAYA, CIKU, LEMON, BRINGLE (lame x dengan kaba ko weyh!) STRAWBERRI, BUAH NAGE, DOLLA! Haha! Damn, mereka maseh di sineyh, menemani-ku..ALI? 3 bolan lebih dengan-nya suda, through ups and down, melalui konflik hati yang dramatik, and luckily, still, kami maseh besame..baru saja dapat call dari-nya tadee..

And, exam final? Lagee 3 awi doe..matematik x khatam lagee, kemia and biology, haha, jaoh sikalee, (tapee, yang pileknye, even sibenanye, x ah pilek sangat pon) ku x wisau pape oh, x gelaba langsong..lipak jek, leh maen taep taep lagee..haha..x penah nak insap tol aku neyh an, sijak dawi zaman me-mude dolu weyh..kebiasaannye, nak pekse neyh, mule ar ku dimam, entah ape pasal tah, ku wase wase, ku neyh allergic kat booku oh, maen be-bace sket, da dimam, huu, x phm tol..nway, chaiyok tok aku weyh! Hee.. =p

Harap, ineyh cukop tok membalas surat lampau..chowchow..

Surat dawi diri-ku pada masa semasa..haha! =]

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The end!

By: [thatreservedgirl]